I:1:T Child discipline that is effective is always based on treating the child in a respectful way. Parents need to be in charge of children in non-harsh, respectful, firm, loving, and fair ways in order for the children to respond well to the discipline. If parents are disrespectfully in charge, the children may react with stubborn, retaliatory, or manipulative expressions of anger or with temper tantrums.
By being in charge, I'm talking about being the person or persons who are in command, managing, directing, in authority, responsible, taking charge, and running the show.
For any discipline method to be effective with children, it has to be respectful of them. What I mean by effective is that the child's compliance is obtained, without alienating the child from the parent. Counting children is an extremely effective way to restore compliance when it is momentarily lost. Counting, as you likely know, is the numeric warning given by parents to their children that if they choose not to "listen up" and do what they're told by the time the "magic" number is reached, they will be given immediate consequences.
Perhaps the easiest and best time to help kids learn that you are the person in charge of them is when they first begin to dish out defiance, typically somewhere between four and ten months old. Counting works well with children this young, once they've learned how it works, and it works with all other ages, including bigger-than-you children. Kids of all ages are able to understand the friendly tone of warning involved in Counting.
Another effective discipline aspect is that the functional consequence given must nullify the benefits the child earns through the commission of the offense. In other words, the consequence must be tough enough for the child to think the misbehavior was not worth it, but not so tough that the child feels disrespected. For instance, groundings have to be long enough and short enough to produce something near the middle of (1) the child's perception that the benefit was certainly worth the consequence and (2) the child's detesting of your innards. My personal Grounding Standardization Method and my Grounding Formula come in handy whenever Grounding is a fitting consequence. (Consequences should also fit the offense.)
There is a wide variety of discipline techniques for parents to choose from. When deciding which ones to try, it's helpful to think of the most important criteria, (1) that the technique shows respect, and (2) that it appropriately and adequately, but not overly, consequences the child for the offending behavior.
By being in charge, I'm talking about being the person or persons who are in command, managing, directing, in authority, responsible, taking charge, and running the show.
For any discipline method to be effective with children, it has to be respectful of them. What I mean by effective is that the child's compliance is obtained, without alienating the child from the parent. Counting children is an extremely effective way to restore compliance when it is momentarily lost. Counting, as you likely know, is the numeric warning given by parents to their children that if they choose not to "listen up" and do what they're told by the time the "magic" number is reached, they will be given immediate consequences.
Perhaps the easiest and best time to help kids learn that you are the person in charge of them is when they first begin to dish out defiance, typically somewhere between four and ten months old. Counting works well with children this young, once they've learned how it works, and it works with all other ages, including bigger-than-you children. Kids of all ages are able to understand the friendly tone of warning involved in Counting.
Another effective discipline aspect is that the functional consequence given must nullify the benefits the child earns through the commission of the offense. In other words, the consequence must be tough enough for the child to think the misbehavior was not worth it, but not so tough that the child feels disrespected. For instance, groundings have to be long enough and short enough to produce something near the middle of (1) the child's perception that the benefit was certainly worth the consequence and (2) the child's detesting of your innards. My personal Grounding Standardization Method and my Grounding Formula come in handy whenever Grounding is a fitting consequence. (Consequences should also fit the offense.)
There is a wide variety of discipline techniques for parents to choose from. When deciding which ones to try, it's helpful to think of the most important criteria, (1) that the technique shows respect, and (2) that it appropriately and adequately, but not overly, consequences the child for the offending behavior.
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Want to find out more about parenting books, then visit Leanna Rae Scott's site on how to choose the best effective discipline for your needs.. This article, Effective Discipline Must Be Positive Discipline: What Doesn't Work And What Does, And Why is available for free reprint.
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