Wednesday, 26 March 2014

Helping A Parent Or Spouse With Alzheimer's

By Kristana Jenson


Not only does Alzheimer's disease affect the more than 26 million people who suffer from the actual disease, it also has a far-reaching effect on loved ones, such as children or a spouse. Caring for someone with Alzheimer's is difficult not only because they simply might not remember you, but also because they can do dangerous things, wander away or lash out aggressively at caregivers.

The disease has several stages and when you begin to notice problems with memory and changes in personality, you probably will suggest that they visit the doctor and be screened for the disease. Of course, your parent could be quite resistant to this suggestion and it's hard to blame them. Alzheimer's is a very frightening prospect, and many people are angry when people suggest they see a doctor, but also very angry and depressed once they are diagnosed. Often, it is the caregivers and loved ones that bear the brunt of this anger.

It isn't easy, but keep in mind that their anger is absolutely not about you, but about fear and confusion. Imagine how you would feel if you lost your memory and were constantly confused and bewildered. Anxiety can be lessened to an extent by reducing the stimulus and stress surrounding the person with the disease. Make life as simple as possible with no responsibilities, and just meals and activities. Skip events where there will be too many people and too much noise, and while visiting with people is very important, limit the visits to just one or two people. Clean up the house and bedroom so that taking care of basic needs is as simple as possible.

Learn how to answer questions in a way that makes the person feel as though you are listening, but without making the situation more confusing. So if a parent asks where they are or who you are, respond by telling them that they are safe and then perhaps distract them by telling them that it is time for lunch or that you are fixing them a cup of tea. If they tell you they need to go to visit a relative that already is deceased, rather than arguing the point, simply ask them some questions about this loved one. Often a comfort object can be used, such as a blanket or a pillow. A person can hold this soft object and it can increase their level of security.

In many cases, dementia has progressed to a point where providing care is extremely difficult and stressful. In addition, many people simply cannot accommodate a parent safely in their home. At this point, you probably need to find a good eldercare facility for your parent or spouse. Many facilities specialize in helping people with memory issues and are trained to deal with all aspects of Alzheimer's. Finding a facility can be tricky, so consider talking to the staff at CarePlacement.com to find out about your options.

There are many different options to consider, and at CarePlacement.com, they can match you to a board & care home, an assisted living community or a skilled nursing facility that offers memory care services. You also could consider in-home caregivers, and CarePlacement.com can provide you with a pre-screened list of qualified individuals to interview. Medi-Cal benefits typically are accepted at nursing homes, so if you are working with a tight budget, this might be your best option. For those with a larger budget, an assisted living home might be a good choice.




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