The beginning step in bringing up children who are totally free of tantrums all of their childhood days is to stop subscribing to what the parenting experts have been advising us-that tantrums are normal and natural and highly inevitable and unpreventable when raising children. This concept is simply untrue. Virtually all kids could be raised tantrum-free if only the parents knew how to accomplish it. I can teach you how. My first five children, as babies, all threw tantrums, but my last eight didn't. When my fifth was fourteen months old, I learned what needed to be changed in my parenting style, and by one week or so he had totally stopped throwing tantrums. My last eight babies never threw temper tantrums because I'd taught them from the time they were born to trust me to respond the way they needed me to when they were angry.
Where might this tantrum-universality myth have originate from-besides that it's been passed down through the generations? It's been unclear just how many children parenting experts have had on the average, but my limited pre-Wikipedia and pre-Internet research from about twenty years ago indicated it was maybe one or two each, and I doubt that it's increased since then. Book-writing parenting experts typically haven't said how many children they've had. One often has to guess by the people they've dedicated their books to. It's really true.
I seriously doubt any parent could learn all there is to learn about parenting by one or two preschoolers or even one or two teenagers. I was still learning important skills with my fourth and fifth kids, and I haven't stopped learning yet. Parents typically feel like hiding their parenting imperfections. Nobody enjoys openly admitting their parenting faults.
So, this is how I think the tantrum-universality misconception came to life. The parenting experts (who got that way mainly from attending college and not so much from having and raising kids) typically have a greater-than-average need to look like perfect parents. Because they are calling themselves expert parents, there is an implication that they are almost perfect at the job.
However, not very long after becoming parents, the majority of these experts find their own kids throwing tantrums. This validates their textbook learning about tantrum inevitability and universality, because if even they the experts have tantrum-throwing kids, certainly the inexpert parents couldn't do any better, right? Wrong-millions of inexpert parents have accomplished raising tantrum-free kids. I believe tantrum-free child rearing is highly possible, and preferable. It's also a much more enjoyable type of parenting (than the alternative) for all people involved, counting the general public. I can share with you what I've learned about creating a family lifestyle absolutely free of tantrums.
Where might this tantrum-universality myth have originate from-besides that it's been passed down through the generations? It's been unclear just how many children parenting experts have had on the average, but my limited pre-Wikipedia and pre-Internet research from about twenty years ago indicated it was maybe one or two each, and I doubt that it's increased since then. Book-writing parenting experts typically haven't said how many children they've had. One often has to guess by the people they've dedicated their books to. It's really true.
I seriously doubt any parent could learn all there is to learn about parenting by one or two preschoolers or even one or two teenagers. I was still learning important skills with my fourth and fifth kids, and I haven't stopped learning yet. Parents typically feel like hiding their parenting imperfections. Nobody enjoys openly admitting their parenting faults.
So, this is how I think the tantrum-universality misconception came to life. The parenting experts (who got that way mainly from attending college and not so much from having and raising kids) typically have a greater-than-average need to look like perfect parents. Because they are calling themselves expert parents, there is an implication that they are almost perfect at the job.
However, not very long after becoming parents, the majority of these experts find their own kids throwing tantrums. This validates their textbook learning about tantrum inevitability and universality, because if even they the experts have tantrum-throwing kids, certainly the inexpert parents couldn't do any better, right? Wrong-millions of inexpert parents have accomplished raising tantrum-free kids. I believe tantrum-free child rearing is highly possible, and preferable. It's also a much more enjoyable type of parenting (than the alternative) for all people involved, counting the general public. I can share with you what I've learned about creating a family lifestyle absolutely free of tantrums.
About the Author:
Learn more about how toeliminate tantrums . Visit Leanna Rae Scott's site to learn how to prevent temper tantrums.. Check here for free reprint license: How Parenting Experts Decided Tantrums Are Universal.
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