Tuesday, 8 October 2013

12 Steps To Overcoming Shyness With The Opposite Sex

By John W. Barker


Getting rid of your shyness may seem impossible but with a little effort and the desire to be more outgoing with the opposite sex then you can definitely overcome shyness. It is important to know that the fears you feel when shyness hits you is typically always much worse than the reality of the situation. Fake it until you make it! This is an infamous saying in the sales world.It is a great way to start teaching yourself new behavioral habits.
[Overcoming Shyness]


Making friends and attending social functions may seem like a nightmare to a shy person. No one wants to stand in the corner alone, but a shy person may lack the ability to approach new people.You can learn how to overcome shyness and build confidence by developing new habits and social skills. Shy people may have to exert a large amount of effort in order to start a conversation or attend a party. Determination is a key factor in learning how to overcome shyness.

5 Ways To Overcome Shyness,Some of the components of shyness are lack of self-confidence and anxiety around others, difficulty carrying on a conversation, and a lack of knowledge about the expected behavior in social situations.Shy people can be very intimidated by people in general. Learning how to overcome shyness may seem like an insurmountable task, but help is available to you through several sources.

You must first determine why you are shy. There are always underlying reasons for the way a person reacts in certain situations.Next, try behaving in a confident manner in private and practice until you begin to see results in public. Walk confidently and speak firmly and soon you'll find yourself behaving the same confident way in social settings.As ridiculous as it may seem, forcing yourself to act as if you are not shy can be very helpful in learning how to overcome shyness altogether.

One way to boost your self-confidence is to always look your best. Looking great makes you feel great and does wonders for your self-esteem.Reduce your fear of rejection by always imagining the worst outcome possible in every social situation. Then if the outcome is less traumatic than you imagine, you won't dwell on the rejection near as much. Observing strangers and acquaintances and how they relate to others can be a great tool in learning how to overcome shyness.If you are having difficulty overcoming shyness, join clubs or go to events that interest you. It's a lot more comfortable to engage in conversations with those who have common interests.

Combat your fears of rejections by realizing that everyone gets rejected at one point or another, everyone! Learn not to take rejection personally. Use it as a tool.Be honest and up front!... tell people that you are shy up front, be honest with them. You will not believe just how nervous and shy the other person is as well.Last but certainly not least. pray to God. Share your shyness with God and ask as him for the strength and courage to overcome it.

Love yourself,Self appreciation is one of the best ways of overcoming shyness. Learn to love the unique expression that is you. Take some time and pen a love letter to yourself. Take some time to go out and do the things that you really enjoy. Be thankful for your health; spend some time to get to know yourself.Be none conforming,Never try to be someone else. This is extremely exhausting and no fun at all. Know that it is alright to be different. The truth is, people who are popular experience the same emotions, insecurities, self consciousness and feelings of awkwardness.Place your focus on other individuals,Instead of focusing on what makes you awkward, listen to what other have to say during social gatherings. Spend the time and learn about others. Get to know and understand what they have to say though conversation.Reduce your anxiety through controlled breathing,Fear and anxiety have a way of overwhelming you. One way to controlling these negative emotions are though becoming more assertive. You can control your anxiety by channelling it into smaller pieces and assimilating it slowly. This is done through controlled breathing. Slowly inhale and exhale as you clear the triggering thoughts.

Reduce anxiety through movement,Physical movement is one of the best ways to release pent up energies. Walking and jogging will help to clear the mind of situations that create anxiety. This renewed mind state will allow you to see things better.Affirmation,Words are very powerful and used in the right context they can change reality. The unconscious mind takes cues what the conscious mind hears and drives the being according. Spend time reaffirming positive words and over time you will begin to experience a change on how you view life which will impact your shyness.

Choose one with a low score because that will be easier to overcome and will build your confidence when you come to tackle one of the scarier situations.Then make a determined attempt to overcome your shyness in that one, relatively inconsequential, situation.Keep at it - you may not succeed at the first attempt but keep going until that situation has dropped at least one point on the scale.Learn to laugh more,Laughter is an excellent defence mechanism.It diffuses lots of otherwise awkward situations.If you find it hard to laugh, at least raise a smile. This will change the way that other people react to you and you'll be pleasantly surprised when those situations where you were previously shy and reserved turn themselves around almost automatically, just because you've made the effort to laugh or smile.

Be accepting of rejection.Rejection is a natural part of life. You must learn how to cope with this rejection and learn how to never take it personally. Every one will be rejected at some point in time. It's just a part of the learning process of life. The key is to handle the rejection by never taking it personally, look for the lesson in the situation and move on.Do away with perfectionism,Most people who compare themselves to others tend to compare themselves with the most popular person in a social setting or with the celebrities on TV. This in turn causes them to place excessive expectations of themselves thus causing them to ask the question why can't I be like the other person. Do away with this perfectionism.Finally practice your social skills,Practise makes perfect, like any other skill you may have, you should practice your social skills. Spend time putting yourself out there meeting and greeting others. If you're not sure what to say, ask a fried to help you before hand for such social events.




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