The initial rush of romance can be wonderful. Couples find themselves falling in love and wanting to be together. However even the most committed pairing can become frustrated with each other over a long term period. At this point this is when it helps to learn effective communication skills for couples.
The first aspect is knowing that people are different. The way in which one person communicates will be different from another. This can often lead to misunderstanding. It is not necessarily a case of a man misunderstanding a woman it can also be as a result of a clash of personalities.
The problem comes when two people have different styles of communication. For example what one half of the couple thinks is fun and playful banter the other person sees as harmful name calling. The danger is that this is never expressed so the other one is not aware that their behavior is destructive.
Conversely there are people that may not necessarily want to talk. This can create the misunderstanding that they are cold. However it can equally be that they are shy and may take a bit longer to open up then someone who is naturally confident. In most cases nobody quite fits these two extremes. The way to deal with this is to explain your situation. This does not mean you attempt to pin the blame on somebody else. It is about explaining how you feel and how your partner can help improve the situation. Equally it is about recognizing your own flaws and working on addressing them.
This is why you need to openly discuss any issues you may have. However there is a difference between open discussion and being overly honest. You should not resort to name calling or actively looking to seek blame for problems. This type of arguing will not lead to resolutions.
Another thing to remember is that stress and emotional situations are best avoided when you want to have a discussion. If you feel a conversation become heated walk away and get some distance between you and your partner. This break can then make it easier to think a bit more rationally and discuss the situation.
Be aware that if you are in a heightened emotional state you are unlikely to attempt to converse in a rational fashion and this is where you may say hurtful things in the heat of the moment. In this instance it is better to walk away and return after you have had a chance to think about the situation and discuss it in a more rational way. If you find you are still on edge then it may be better to wait until the day after to continue the conversation.
There are a number of experts and courses that can help you learn effective communication skills for couples. However while they can help guide you ultimately it requires effort from both halves of the partnership. With commitment you can improve and make it easier to develop your ability to communicate with each other.
The first aspect is knowing that people are different. The way in which one person communicates will be different from another. This can often lead to misunderstanding. It is not necessarily a case of a man misunderstanding a woman it can also be as a result of a clash of personalities.
The problem comes when two people have different styles of communication. For example what one half of the couple thinks is fun and playful banter the other person sees as harmful name calling. The danger is that this is never expressed so the other one is not aware that their behavior is destructive.
Conversely there are people that may not necessarily want to talk. This can create the misunderstanding that they are cold. However it can equally be that they are shy and may take a bit longer to open up then someone who is naturally confident. In most cases nobody quite fits these two extremes. The way to deal with this is to explain your situation. This does not mean you attempt to pin the blame on somebody else. It is about explaining how you feel and how your partner can help improve the situation. Equally it is about recognizing your own flaws and working on addressing them.
This is why you need to openly discuss any issues you may have. However there is a difference between open discussion and being overly honest. You should not resort to name calling or actively looking to seek blame for problems. This type of arguing will not lead to resolutions.
Another thing to remember is that stress and emotional situations are best avoided when you want to have a discussion. If you feel a conversation become heated walk away and get some distance between you and your partner. This break can then make it easier to think a bit more rationally and discuss the situation.
Be aware that if you are in a heightened emotional state you are unlikely to attempt to converse in a rational fashion and this is where you may say hurtful things in the heat of the moment. In this instance it is better to walk away and return after you have had a chance to think about the situation and discuss it in a more rational way. If you find you are still on edge then it may be better to wait until the day after to continue the conversation.
There are a number of experts and courses that can help you learn effective communication skills for couples. However while they can help guide you ultimately it requires effort from both halves of the partnership. With commitment you can improve and make it easier to develop your ability to communicate with each other.
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