Tuesday, 15 October 2013

Public Speaking: How To Gain Confidence

By John W. Barker


Gaining self confidence is a very hard task, but it can be very achievable if you have patience, determination, and to truly believe that you are going to make it. The following are some of the ways through which you can gain self confidence:Learn your insecurities - In order to gain self confidence you have to locate those issues that make you uncomfortable. It can be a result of past experience, friends or general appearance. You can even write them down on a paper and tear it later to make you feel better.
[How To Gain Confidence]


You only need one thing when you go up the stage: confidence-an unaltered confidence. It's what makes your legs stop from trembling. It keeps your feet intact on the ground. It clears your mind for you to be able to concentrate on just the content of what you have to say. The dilemma right here is this: how are you going to gain that confidence?There are two kinds of public speaking you might be caught in. One is that kind in which you are given a period of time to prepare, such as guest speaker speech during a commencement exercise. The other kind is the speech in which you are caught off guarded, such as extemporaneous speeches or ambushed interviews.

Identify your successes - Get to know the good things and the talents you have and appreciate them. By this you can find inner peace that will help you gain self-confidence in some areas of your life.Do not care too much about what other people think - Other people tend to care more about themselves than you. You cannot please everybody in the world, so do what you think is right and pleases you. For example, when you are speaking in a public gathering, do not care about how people think about you, just believe in yourself. This will help you appreciate yourself, which builds your self-confidence

Allow being judged - You have to accept this because everyone, including me, judges other people. All you need to do is be okay with it; some will judge you positively and others negatively. This is hard! But you have to do it, just do not be so concerned on how people think about you. Appreciate yourself just the way you are and you are going to gain self-confidence.Help other people - By helping other people or just showing kindness, you create an awareness in your mind that you have a positive impact in the outside world. It helps to treat others how you want to be treated. When you constantly treat others kindly, they will begin to treat you the same way. Therefore this will help you gain self-confidence.

Dress for success - This creates an inner awareness of being smart. By doing this, you have no fear of being judged by looking ugly. Therefore this enhances the way you carry yourself and the way you relate with the people around you, hence increasing your esteem. You do not have to go out and buy a new wardrobe. Go shopping and truly buy what you like and feel comfortable in. Personal hygene is also very important. Feeling clean and being confident are closely related.In every occasion, sit in the front row - Many people want to stay at the back because they have a fear inside themselves. Always motivate yourself to sit in the front row so that the fear of being noticed can go away. This way you can gain self-confidence very fast.

While some people revert to eating, shopping, crying, screaming or even, hibernating from everyone, I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that these reactions don't help the situation or your self-confidence very much. Instead of running that "spit the dummy" routine when you are feeling like a failure, let's transfer your focus and energy on something that may help your cause, instead of magnifying it.The quickest way to do this is turning to your supporters. Firstly you need to know,Who are your supporters? Who can help pull you out of this emotional downtime? Who can give you that confidence boost?I call this emotional downtime, because, while you feel like a loser with no confidence, it's only your emotions which are responsible for your results. Your actual knowledge and skills are good enough to succeed, but it's your pessimistic focus that drives your negative emotions which in turn give you the disappointing results that you produce when in this state resulting in no confidence. When you are in such an emotional downtime, it's virtually impossible to turn yourself around by yourself.

Consider even something that will pay little but bring satisfaction or professional benefits by raising your qualifications or allowing you contacts with other people within your field. Remember that sometimes a substantial gain can be achieved through the initial investment, so do not worry that you may use money saved for a rainy day. That day has come and you will be better off spending a little towards improvement of your skills and competencies. Having control over your budget will diminish the stress and help you gain positive outlook for the future!

Get the facts right.The media coverage of the crisis is often greatly exaggerated and distorted. It is important that you limit your news intake as they may cause nervousness and enforce general negative attitude. Do not let yourself be pushed into fear and despair. You cannot, however, live in ignorance and oblivion to the facts. Research past financial downturns - they have all been overcome and the global economy emerged even stronger and better. Take a lesson from history and think positively about current situation. This recession will pass. Use your own judgment and instincts to gain hope and confidence in a positive turnaround of the events.

"Wait a minute" you might be saying. How am I supposed to contact them when I am feeling like this (as down as one can feel)? Don't worry, this is much easier than you think.If you choose your coach wisely, you will have done it from the point of trust, love, respect and admiration. Chances are they feel the same way towards you, because over time you have both created an important and very strong friendship/relationship. All you have to do is be open and honest and they will most likely accept your request with open arms.You can simply say something like:"I need your help. I am feeling really down right now and need someone to make me smile". "I'm really lacking confidence right now and need someone to snap me out of these negative thoughts I'm having, do you mind helping?"The more open and honest you are, the more likely they will accept and do everything they can to help you out. People love to help others. It makes them feel good to know they have contributed to someone and they get praised, which makes them also feel special.

Above all - take action and put yourself in charge. The right frame of mind will set you off to promising new grounds. Step by step you can change your attitude and empower yourself to make a difference in your own future, your own life.Margaret Buj is an Interview Coach and a senior recruiter, with experience of recruiting across EMEA for leading organizations in the technology sector, including Microsoft, VMware, Cisco and Business Objects. During a 1-to-1 coaching session with Margaret, you will get the opportunity to practice your interview skills without the pressure and the nerves of a real interview. You will get clear, practical advice and encouragement, and you will become more fluent in your ability to answer any question an interviewer can throw at you. As a result, you will feel less anxious and more confident and you will significantly increase your chances of getting a job offer or a place on a graduate training scheme.




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