Thursday, 10 October 2013

Gain Confidence And Boost Self Esteem In 5 Simple Steps

By Allen S. Fox


We all want to become more confident and feel good about ourselves so we can live our very best life. Here are some ways to gain confidence and raise self-esteem:Do something that requires a decision and a follow-through.Have you been putting off writing that letter to aunt Martha? Is there a friend you've been meaning to call? Wash the car, tidy the garden or clean the house. You'll gain confidence by setting goals (even small ones) and following through on them.Enjoy something you do well.
[How To Gain Confidence]


Imagine you are at a public gathering and you have really low self confidence at that point in time. You come home and you feel really bad because you thought you where judged by other people. Your best friend James, thought the same thing when he came home. Judith thought exactly the same thing. The point is, people care more about themselves than they care about you. So inevitably don't care what other people think of you. You are not put on this planet to please all. It's OK to fail, it's OK to be different, it's OK to do what you feel is right for you!

Allow being judged. This is something that can be really hard, but guess what. In order to boost self confidence to great heights, you must be able to do things your way and be OK with other people disliking what you do. Again, almost everybody in the world judges people, I judge people for sure. If somebody tells me that I am something negative that I know I am. Let's say ugly, or fat... I can simply laugh it off and say, "So what, I can't change my genes and this is the way I am, do you have something else you want to judge me by, please get it off your chest?". See there is nothing a person can say to you that you can't counter in one way or another. Have really strong beliefs. The two tips above come down to one thing and that is having a strong self belief and solid ground in your confidence. There are many exercises you can take in order to really learn how to gain self confidence. You must get your beliefs in order first, otherwise you will always have a doubt in your mind somewhere. People are experts at destroying their own beliefs by having negative thoughts. STOP negative thoughts now.

Also if you get in the habit of focussing on the things you can control and not obsess about stuff that is totally out of your realm of influence, you will increase your feelings of hope.Developing hope is a habit. If you make it a habit to focus on the positives and what you can do to make things better, you will feel better about yourself and definitely more hopeful.Here are three things that you should understand in order to fight with your insecurities and gain more confidence.

The practice of meditation has gained popularity for this reason. You might want to look into Tai Chi, which involves physical relaxation techniques.Whatever method you decide on, take relaxation seriously. The benefits are just too great to ignore. If you've never considered relaxation important, think of it this way: if you can attend to something that results in feeling good, how can you not gain confidence in your personal abilities?

People who are close to you have more impact on you than you think. Sometimes if you want to change you have to change your surroundings and it should start with your friends.If some of your friends are negative, pessimistic people, they make you a negative and pessimistic person too. And that makes it very hard to improve your confidence. Stop meeting with people who make you feel bad and start meeting with people who make you feel good (preferably with highly confident people).

If you are stuck in a rut, your life becomes boring and predictable. It kills your spontaneity and appetite for life. You don't feel alive and that makes you feel insecure. Make some changes in your life, especially dealing with your everyday life (your job, your partner, your home etc.).If you aren't happy in your current situation, you have to change it to become vibrant once again. When you do it, you'll automatically feel more confident. It's hard to feel confident if you feel unhappy.

Second, speak with confidence. Picture yourself talking with a very close friend so that you will feel comfortable with your conversations. Plan ahead and think about the topics you'd like to discuss during your first date. This gives you a sense of control knowing where to lead the conversations that would enhance the chances of a successful first date. Good examples for getting to know each other better include discussing your likes and dislikes, your work, friends, hobbies you enjoy and how you feel about what's going on in the world, etc. Keep the conversation light, but not too shallow. Don't hesitate to ask questions about your date as this will keep the conversation balanced. Just make sure it is appropriate with regards to the time and place.

Third, be on time. Arriving on time gives your date the impression that you are serious about meeting with him/her. Men, it is appropriate that you come earlier. Don't keep your date waiting. He/she may have other appointments after your date, and you don't want to waste his/her time by showing up late. If you are running a bit behind, it's a common courtesy to call your date to let them know that you will be a little bit late.

Fourth, be yourself. There is no better way to impress your date than by just being yourself! Show him/her the real you; don't pretend to be someone else you are not. By being who you are, you become more comfortable with the way you present yourself as well as the way you engage in conversations. This increases your self-confidence because you don't have to pretend, you just simply show your date the real you.First dates are very exciting, yet it can cause most people feel anxious. It is important to gain confidence especially with first dates to increase the chances of forming lasting relationships with someone new. Through gaining self-confidence, you increase your chances of being successful with your first date and many more.




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