Tuesday 20 January 2015

How To Avoid Codependency Relationships

By Karyn Shields


If you become a codependent, the one who will suffer is not only you but your partner as well. Being a codependent just means that you are giving something in the relationship just so you can get something out of it. If you go on with that kind of codependency mindset in this relationship, sooner or later, this relationship will go downhill.

To people who do not want to continue causing grief to their partners, then they should try to avoid becoming codependents at all cost. There should be some great tips that you can consider when you do not want things to go from worse to worst. Here are various tips you can use when you want to be in a healthy relationship.

First, you must make sure to get proper counseling if it is necessary for you to become healthy. Being healthy personally should help you earn a healthy relationship. You need to find someone who can help you grow. It might be a counselor or a friend. This person will be the one you will trust to tell you the truth.

There is no need for you to quantify the amount of love you have given to your partner. That is what becoming a codependent means, after all. You are just giving what you expect to be returned to you. If you want a healthy relationship, then you have to give your 100 percent into the relationship without expecting anything back.

Being hurt or getting mad is natural. You are human, after all. However, when you end up getting hurt or you want to get mad, you should first think about the reason behind your behavior. You have to figure out the cause so that you can address it. If you address your hurt, you will end up resolving it properly.

Be sure to understand the idea of personal boundaries between couples. Do not just respect the personal boundaries of your partner, you should also hold yours. You and your partner should make your personal boundaries clear, together with the negotiable gray areas, since these are part of a healthy relationship. Show respect to that.

You might get in a heated argument with your partner. In such situations, no matter how angry you are, you better not insult your partner. Do not call them any names. Do not label them. No matter how much anger you feel, you better phrase the arguments you make in a way that will not make them feel insulted.

In the case when it is your partner who insults you, you should not let it get to you. Instead of thinking about the insults thrown your way, you should make sure to think about the reason why those words were said in the first place. There might be something wrong and you can only resolve it when you think that way.

You cannot avoid conflicts when you are in a relationship. Even if you are happy and comfortable with your relationship, there will be reasons for the two of you two fight. Come up with a method of conflict resolution that the two of you can agree on whenever you have a fight. That should help a lot.




About the Author:



No comments:

Post a Comment