Have you heard about the "look up and around" technique? Well, this approach has helped quite a lot of my patients with social anxiety or agoraphobia break free.
If you are troubled by social phobia or agoraphobia, then the following experiences will be well known to you.
A feeling of Intense self-focus
Never-ending sensation that folks are staring at you.
Enhanced sense of nervousness.
Increased fear that individuals may see your anxiety as a weakness you have and then confront, scorn or abuse.
A feeling of shame that makes you to look away or look down quite often.
If you feel any of the above is familiar to you, then you will reap benefits from using this strategy.
So what's the approach?
The strategy is just simply to look up and around. Take a look at any person you come across. Observe what is really happening.
Before you decide to think "this is a whole load of hogwash," Consider testing the strategy out for around two weeks. I trust that you will notice the effectiveness in this strategy.
Please don't make the mistake of assuming that the simplicity of this exercise means that it won't be of any use.
Why do you think people pick up this tendency to look down or away during these situations?
Typically, it may be because somehow, they think that there is a legitimate reason to feel embarrassed about. It's perhaps because they feel ugly, fat, peculiar or too tall. Because of this, they tend to conclude that the only reason folks will look at them is because people assume that they are rather awful or everybody may make fun of them and possibly point fingers.
Looking around and viewing exactly what is really transpiring around us regularly will assist us to challenge this belief in several ways.
One, we learn that only about 1% of the people we come across might look at us. The remaining people don't tend to care one bit. They are way too busy to see anything. Failing to look up and about frequently makes us conclude that the 1% is equal to 100% of the people we meet.
Secondly, the same act of looking away happens to make anxieties worse. Try this out:
Ask another person who can help you out with this (It works better if the colleague is someone you don't know too well).
Compile a collection of expressions, which include the things you believe people criticize you negatively on, afterwards get your supporter to pretend and read the sentences in a disdainful fashion twice (e.g. What an hideous looking girl). At the first read look away with your back facing your friend, whilst he/ she reads then at the next read turn back and face the friend.
You'll typically find that whilst your mate reads your list at you, looking away made you feel unsafe even if ever so slightly. Remarkably, the slight anxious sensation still occurs even though you have presented the statement yourself (note that the exercise should work better if the provided sentence causes you to feel uncomfortable or bashful in the first place.)
So how would you go about using the "look up and around exercise"?
From my experience, I have realized that it is always better to have someone walk around with you initially. My suggestion is that you stay clear of family simply because they will be more likely to find it difficult to be objective. It will also help if you are able to wear a pair of shades to stop people from seeing that you are looking at them.
You will need a piece of paper and pen that will let you take an unbiased account. Right before you head out, make a speculation of how you think the experiment will turn out. Take note of what percentage of the people you think will look at you. It helps to distinguish between a simple glance and an obvious six-second glare. Okay, once you have completed this, go for a walk, maybe to town or to the shopping complex. It doesn't matter so long as you will find enough people around.
For everybody that looks at you, mark a tick down on the paper and for everyone who doesn't look at you, mark a star down.
I trust that you will be pleasantly surprised with your discoveries.
If you are troubled by social phobia or agoraphobia, then the following experiences will be well known to you.
A feeling of Intense self-focus
Never-ending sensation that folks are staring at you.
Enhanced sense of nervousness.
Increased fear that individuals may see your anxiety as a weakness you have and then confront, scorn or abuse.
A feeling of shame that makes you to look away or look down quite often.
If you feel any of the above is familiar to you, then you will reap benefits from using this strategy.
So what's the approach?
The strategy is just simply to look up and around. Take a look at any person you come across. Observe what is really happening.
Before you decide to think "this is a whole load of hogwash," Consider testing the strategy out for around two weeks. I trust that you will notice the effectiveness in this strategy.
Please don't make the mistake of assuming that the simplicity of this exercise means that it won't be of any use.
Why do you think people pick up this tendency to look down or away during these situations?
Typically, it may be because somehow, they think that there is a legitimate reason to feel embarrassed about. It's perhaps because they feel ugly, fat, peculiar or too tall. Because of this, they tend to conclude that the only reason folks will look at them is because people assume that they are rather awful or everybody may make fun of them and possibly point fingers.
Looking around and viewing exactly what is really transpiring around us regularly will assist us to challenge this belief in several ways.
One, we learn that only about 1% of the people we come across might look at us. The remaining people don't tend to care one bit. They are way too busy to see anything. Failing to look up and about frequently makes us conclude that the 1% is equal to 100% of the people we meet.
Secondly, the same act of looking away happens to make anxieties worse. Try this out:
Ask another person who can help you out with this (It works better if the colleague is someone you don't know too well).
Compile a collection of expressions, which include the things you believe people criticize you negatively on, afterwards get your supporter to pretend and read the sentences in a disdainful fashion twice (e.g. What an hideous looking girl). At the first read look away with your back facing your friend, whilst he/ she reads then at the next read turn back and face the friend.
You'll typically find that whilst your mate reads your list at you, looking away made you feel unsafe even if ever so slightly. Remarkably, the slight anxious sensation still occurs even though you have presented the statement yourself (note that the exercise should work better if the provided sentence causes you to feel uncomfortable or bashful in the first place.)
So how would you go about using the "look up and around exercise"?
From my experience, I have realized that it is always better to have someone walk around with you initially. My suggestion is that you stay clear of family simply because they will be more likely to find it difficult to be objective. It will also help if you are able to wear a pair of shades to stop people from seeing that you are looking at them.
You will need a piece of paper and pen that will let you take an unbiased account. Right before you head out, make a speculation of how you think the experiment will turn out. Take note of what percentage of the people you think will look at you. It helps to distinguish between a simple glance and an obvious six-second glare. Okay, once you have completed this, go for a walk, maybe to town or to the shopping complex. It doesn't matter so long as you will find enough people around.
For everybody that looks at you, mark a tick down on the paper and for everyone who doesn't look at you, mark a star down.
I trust that you will be pleasantly surprised with your discoveries.
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