Friday, 2 October 2015

The Various True Lover Tests

By Sharon Weeks


Everyone has been in a situation where one gets an unexplainable feeling. This is a feeling of excitement or euphoria. This is especially so if you meet and have a chat with that special person that you always think of. Once in a while you may think that she is falling for you but you must keep on questioning this feeling. The true lover tests will help you discern and differentiate between real love and an infatuated feeling.

If you believe that infatuation is a love tester, you might be in an awesome relationship but you still fail to feel the love. The skewed expectations might be taking a rich, warm and deeper relationship from you. To add on, lack of knowing the difference between infatuation and love may lead you to unintentionally connecting to a person never to be your spouse and still conclude naively that you have found love.

To understand whether what you are feeling is love or not, consider the long term expectations of that feeling. A number of theories show true love to contain passion, intimacy and commitment. Not balancing these three can end up straining the relationship. People who are fond of each other but fall short on intimacy may not be able to live long in their relationship.

True love should grow with passage of time. A relationship that moves towards extinction as time goes on is headed for dissolution. This is because a love backing of the same is lacking. If an affair cannot be able to withstand the pressure of time, then it is wise to call it quit at an early stage.

The security test. Love that is genuine needs and nurtures a sense of trust and security. A person who is infatuated seems to lack the sense of security, is based upon wishful thinking instead of careful consideration. When one is infatuated, he/she becomes blind to problems. Security is able to flow out of deep knowledge on the character, track record and values of the other person.

The important aspect to check is trust. This can be manifested by how secure you feel in that relationship. A person in love sees the future with his or her lover. An infatuated person will still have wishes even when in relationship. This makes such a person blind to various problems affecting them. Security threat is experienced as a result of distrust in the character. This is also due to lack of appreciating other persons value.

Genuine love creates an atmosphere to learn about the other person. All the characteristics and behavior are learnt as the relationship grows. This should be differentiated from infatuation in that it seeks to be all knowing. Infatuation makes one feel that he knows everything about her. This turns out not the case because it requires time and patience to understand the hues and cues of a partner. This gets possible through the conducive environment created by love.

When we know what love is really is, we get to know that challenges will always be there. It is important that you walk through the issues and enjoy every beautiful moment that you share with your partner.




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