Sunday, 4 March 2018

After Marriage Counseling Newport Beach Couples Can Start Anew

By Jose Mitchell


The divorce rate has gone through the roof. Statistics show that couples often opt for divorce before even considering some form of therapy to salvage their relationship. The sad fact is that it is often the children in such marriages that suffer the most. When marriages break down, it is not just the immediate members of the affected family that suffer. But, with professional marriage counseling Newport Beach families can resolve their issues.

Experienced therapists know that many couples that consider a divorce act impulsively, reacting instinctively to events and problems. Their emotions rule, not their common sense. In the vast majority of cases, ineffective or even non existent communication lies at the root of the problem. This causes couples to drift apart from each other. In fact, most marriages break down due to a number of smaller issues rather than one major catastrophic event.

Even therapists agree that not all marriages can or even should be saved. If one partner abuses substances or succumb to physical, mental and sexual abuse and refuse to admit the problem or to seek help, then it is better to end the relationship. Staying is such marriages just cause more and more damage, especially to the children.

Once a relationship is in serious trouble the chances of the two partners to resolve the issues between them are rather slim. It is much better to seek professional help and to include the children in the process. Children are particularly vulnerable when their parents are in conflict and they often get the idea that the entire situation is their fault.

It is important to choose a therapist with which both parties are happy and comfortable. The best course of action is to select someone that do not move in the same social circles as either partner. Once agreeing to therapy, the couple should understand that therapists are not miracle workers. It takes time and a real commitment to rekindle the spark of a troubled union. However, the end result will most certainly be worth the effort.

Therapists are not problem solvers. It is the couple in therapy that must solve their own problems. The therapist is there to help them to identify the issues that affect their relationship and to address them. He will also help the couple to learn how to communicate honestly and effectively without hurting each other. This will equip them to deal with future problems in a rational manner.

Successful therapy depends upon both partners committing themselves to making it work. If one partner is reluctant to be part of the process, or act aggressively and defensively, therapy cannot be effective. It is also vital to be brutally honest with each other and with the therapist. This is the only way in which to identify the issues that are harming the relationship and to find long term solutions.

When two people marry they love each other and they want to spend the rest of their lives with each other. It must be worth a considerable effort to make sure that such a union lasts for a long time. If things go wrong, as they most certainly will, professional help can be of immense value.




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