Monday 14 November 2016

Some Ways Of Overcoming Hurt And Pain

By Shirley Martin


There is no doubt that all of us have had to undergo some form of emotional anguish at some point in our lives. Close relatives, friends, spouses and all that we hold dear have the potential to cause us emotional pain. While we may not have the ability to control what others say about us or do to us we have the power of controlling how we respond. There are many different ways of overcoming hurt and pain.

Often times, the process of healing requires time. Depending on your level of resilience, you may need a few days, weeks or even years. Be ready to work patiently towards becoming your former self. If you find yourself in a situation that appears to be headed towards emotional heartache, make a point of getting out of it. Let things cool off and avoid acting on impulse as this is likely to aggravate the situation.

The next task is to take part in a moment of reflection. You should think deeply about the events that took place before and during the moment that led to your current feelings. What role did you play and is there a different way you would have acted? Are you really justified to be upset? In some cases, answering these questions may provoke pain and more hurt. This notwithstanding, you need to remain calm.

If from your reflection you feel that you have been wronged, you need to plan on how you will meet the other person. There is a chance that you could be misinterpreting the whole situation so getting a clarification is perfectly in order. You need to be open to all the possibilities and be ready to accommodate the views and intentions of the other individual.

To avoid aggravating an already strained relationship, think carefully before you speak. Avoid getting too argumentative or aggressive. Even if you realize that the other person is the wrong, there is no point forcing them to apologize. This rarely works and even if they were to apologize it is not likely to be genuine. If they volunteer to apologize then be willing to forgive and to forget. Understand that people make mistakes from time to time.

You may not have the opportunity to meet the person that wronged you and seek reconciliation. All hope is not lost. There are a number of things that you can still do to find peace of mind. Try to focus on the positive things in your life. There are many other aspects of your life that are going well and focusing on the past is only preventing you from enjoying these things.

Take responsibility and stay in control of the situation. People who keep allocating the blame to other people feel worse and tend to take longer to heal than those who accept some responsibility. Remember that by taking responsibility you regain control and you can, to a large extent, determine what you feel about the situation.

Surround yourself with people who have a positive mindset. Sharing your experience with a close friend will go a long way in helping you overcome the heartache. The friend will help you analyze the situation from different perspectives and may even suggest to you solutions that you can use.




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