Thursday, 31 May 2018

What You Should Know About Couples Conflict Solution

By Virginia Turner


Conflict is common to all relationships. Most married people have had their share of disagreements due to their different personalities, backgrounds and expectations. You may find yourselves arguing, disagreeing or bickering on a regular basis over particular issues. Some conflicts can ruin your relationship. It is therefore important to know how to resolve them. If you develop the skill of couples conflict solution, you can protect and preserve your relationship.

At times, conflict begins with the possibility of making major changes. Your spouse can respond in a hostile manner after you have stated your case. This can include yelling, talking over you or tuning out completely. During the initial phases of resolving conflicts, the process used is more important than the words used. You can disagree in a healthy way by developing good listening skills.

In order to resolve an issue, you need to allow your spouse to speak about his or her worries, frustrations or concerns. Allow your partner to express feelings in a safe way without feeling that he or she is being ridiculed. This way, your partner will be more willing to listen to what you are saying.

It is also important to talk about your feelings without blaming your spouse. If you make statements, which assault the character of your spouse directly, they can damage your relationship. For example, if your partner is jealous, avoid saying that he or she is irrational. The right way to talk about this issue is telling your partner that you feel irritated whenever he or she states that you are flirting with another person during an innocent conversation. Although this strategy is direct, it will not impugn on the character of your spouse.

As they address a problem, married people should not make generalizations about their partner, such as saying that he or she always or never does something. These words can make a person defensive. He or she may come up with several examples showing why the statements of his or her partner are false. To resolve an issue, married people should try to create a discussion about how their spouse can become more helpful or attentive.

In order to have a constructive discussion, it is important to stick to an issue at a time. When you are unhappy, you are likely to drag several topics into one discussion. When you are planning to solve personal problems, this is not the correct strategy to use. When you raise many complaints at once, it is less likely that you will get any of them fully solved.

When your partner criticizes you, do not automatically object to his or her complaints. Being defensive will not solve your problems. Therefore, take time to hear what your partner has to say and really consider it.

Getting the assistance of a coupes counselor is another good way to solve conflicts in your relationship. You can inform the counselor about the issues you are facing and then discuss them with him or her. When undergoing counseling, you can express your emotions and desires in an environment, which is safe and respectful. Counseling can also heal the hurtful feelings brought about by infidelity, bereavement and neglect. Your counselor will assist you to build a relationship, which is more meaningful and intimate.




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