The word "should" can be incredibly dangerous.
There's a lot of serious emotions attached to that word. There's a lot of major suffering that comes along with that word. Pain. Grief. Expectation. The works.
That word can do a significant amount of damage to your life and keep you utterly stuck in the past.
Maybe you've heard yourself say this before...
"This should have gone down in a very different way."
Truth is, it didn't go that way.
When you live in the world of "should" you aren't actually living in the present moment. You are living in the past or the future.
When the "should" you have exists in the past, you aren't able to come to terms with what happened because you want it to go a different way entirely. You can't accept the facts and you keep on thinking that it should have gone a completely different way. You see how dangerous this is?
So what's the skill to learn here? Come back to the present moment over and over again.
When your "should" lives in the future, you are limiting yourself to a very shallow way of seeing into a land that is completely unknown and foreign to you. "It should happen like this." And if it doesn't? Usually there is a feeling of being let down or disappointed in what actually did happen.
You have to keep coming back to the present moment.
We are all going to have incredibly painful times in our lives that are going to make us want to project an experience onto a life we really have real idea of what's going to happen. That's ok in some ways, but the reality is you have to come back to living in the mystery of the present moment.
Darkness in our lives will always be present.
But what makes us suffer endlessly is not accepting the truth.
So...you have to view it this way. What happened happened...and it couldn't have happened in any other way.
And if you let go of the future, and come back to this moment?
You get to live in the present. You get to live in knowing that life is going to take care of you no matter what happens.
"Should" doesn't exist anymore.
No past...because you've come to terms with it.
No future...because you're in the moment.
You're living "here."
Stay connected.
Live in a world of acceptance.
There's a lot of serious emotions attached to that word. There's a lot of major suffering that comes along with that word. Pain. Grief. Expectation. The works.
That word can do a significant amount of damage to your life and keep you utterly stuck in the past.
Maybe you've heard yourself say this before...
"This should have gone down in a very different way."
Truth is, it didn't go that way.
When you live in the world of "should" you aren't actually living in the present moment. You are living in the past or the future.
When the "should" you have exists in the past, you aren't able to come to terms with what happened because you want it to go a different way entirely. You can't accept the facts and you keep on thinking that it should have gone a completely different way. You see how dangerous this is?
So what's the skill to learn here? Come back to the present moment over and over again.
When your "should" lives in the future, you are limiting yourself to a very shallow way of seeing into a land that is completely unknown and foreign to you. "It should happen like this." And if it doesn't? Usually there is a feeling of being let down or disappointed in what actually did happen.
You have to keep coming back to the present moment.
We are all going to have incredibly painful times in our lives that are going to make us want to project an experience onto a life we really have real idea of what's going to happen. That's ok in some ways, but the reality is you have to come back to living in the mystery of the present moment.
Darkness in our lives will always be present.
But what makes us suffer endlessly is not accepting the truth.
So...you have to view it this way. What happened happened...and it couldn't have happened in any other way.
And if you let go of the future, and come back to this moment?
You get to live in the present. You get to live in knowing that life is going to take care of you no matter what happens.
"Should" doesn't exist anymore.
No past...because you've come to terms with it.
No future...because you're in the moment.
You're living "here."
Stay connected.
Live in a world of acceptance.
About the Author:
Evan Sanders is a professional life coach at AYKME coaching. Dive into these great Bible Verses or these Hope Quotes to get some motivation to move forward!
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